Tired but(quite!) happy

Yep, I was dreading this week.
Working at a different site for 2 days then a conference for today so I've only been to my main work base for 2 days!! Weird! And how I missed 'em! It's strange how you begin to realize how much a part of something you've become and then it's turned upside down. This has happened because I've responded by saying 'yes' to a colleague (who is feeling worn out/fed up etc) at another site and agreed to swap for a while......trouble is, I'm just getting used to my little 'niche' and then I've to swap & chop 'n' change. Now, I don't mind variety but.....
The colleague in question is now adding 'extras' like instead of the original '..just for a couple of months..', it's now '..stretch it to 4..' even 6 months has been mentioned!! Also that I would attend the team meeting there rather than my main base etc.....getting to the point where I'd be there 4 days 1 week and 3 the next so,basically, working more at another base than where I am now.Aaaagh. I know it was our decision to move here but, come on, I've already done alot of changes etc for work in the short time I've been here! Strewth, no wonder I'm confused! My immediate line manager assures me that it is not a permanent thing and if that's how it's going to be seen by the other team, then-he says- the swap's off. Now, I'm kinda wishing I had a strong enough basis to say 'No'. Not sure I do. Need to speak with the manager on Tuesday
In the meantime, I have 3 days off now!! Yay!
Mother's Day on Sunday and a PDO on Monday. I'm also led to believe by the kids that I'm 'not allowed to go shopping' with them tomorrow.......hmmmm, wonder what they'll be buying!!? Also, it means a bit of 'me-time' surely!? My reward for a hard week of confusion, rushing, organising, helping out etc.
It's also been an enlightening week for me in that I've discovered alot of positive things about me that I thought wouldn't be missed or noticed......
I'm (apparently, from other sources!!!) friendly, approachable, got an excellent,confident, relaxed approach which enables clients to feel at ease, easy-going, tolerant, loud, entertaining, lovable, funny('a nut'), warm and organised!! Makes me sound like 'Wonder Woman'.
Isn't it strange, how we perceive ourselves to be somewhat different to how others see us? My, when I read that list back it doesn't sound like it describes me but I know I have those traits and can use them well. My modesty actually prevents me from saying, "Yes, I am all those things and I am grateful for all of it." oooh, no; not me. I just go, "ah, well, shucks", have a warm fuzzy glow for a few mins then start with the negative vibes of "Do they really mean me? Am I that good? Have I mislead them 'cos that would make me feel terrible and what if I have they'll hate me and think I'm a fraud......"
What a nightmare I am!
On other days, I'd just think, "Hey, yeah, I am. Cool." Not on many days though. I start to analyse things too much and try to suss out what folk are really thinking about me.
Blimey, I am rattling on now
Although it's been a tiring week, I'm tired but happy.
Reaffirmed. Enlightened. Empowered.
All will be well.
All is well
Just be.


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